Hello everyone, my name is Callie Simonton. I'm a Film and Media studies major currently in my final semester at the University of Oklahoma. I love movies, specifically horror movies. That's a strange niche I know, who in their right mind would choose that genre over the rest? Maybe it's due to the fact that I grew up with them and find even the low budget and cult movies to be an enjoyable experience. Something about the idea of the extensive makeup effects and the creation of paranormal and otherworldly monsters make my interests in horror films even worse. Favorites? The Saw series, those films are just so mind bending and fun to watch. I took a few Horror classes over the last few semesters and I enjoyed every single bit of them. With that in mind, in the future I'm hoping to make or take part in making some horror films as a career. I live with a few roommates in Norman, one of those being my little brother. I have two dogs, both of them are pomskys (Pomeranian ...
Hey Callie! Awesome website and story! In the sentence that reads "He was was married to a beautiful young woman, one of the most beautiful in the land, a woman named Sita." the word "was" is used twice by mistake. In the sentence that includes "...walk in the forests next..." I think you might have meant to use the word "forest" rather than "forests" but I might be mistaken. In the sentence that includes "...and one had had her eye on Rama..." the word had could be used just once I believe. The sentence that includes "...demons that lurked that forest had told her..." the word "in" should be added after "lurked." In the sentence that includes "...after she claims Rama..." I believe you should use "claimed" rather than "claims." In the sentence that includes "...Lan just to happened..." I think you meant to say "so" rather than "to." Great story and I look forward to reading more from you!
ReplyDeleteHi Callie,
ReplyDeleteI liked how you set up your story. It felt very once upon a time magic fairytale like. I am blown away by your story. As I read, I can tell which story you got your inspiration from. I liked that you took the story into your own hands and added twists of your own. I actually like your version making Shupra beautiful which in turn pans to the story better of why she was so angered when Rama rejected her even if in the original she wasn't beautiful. I love your choice of dictions. It really lets your reader know exactly the kind of image you wanted to create. I particularly really liked the line "she wasn’t disappointed when he stepped into view". I don't know why but it really stroked me when I first read it so I wanted to mention it. I really enjoyed reading this story! Great Job!
Callie,
ReplyDeleteThis story is by far one of my most favorite from the Ramayana. I love how you played out the changes in your story to reflect on what you wanted to be the focus. One suggestion I would offer is to provide more scenic details. Additionally, if you provided more descriptive details and references as to what makes Shurpa so beautiful and irresistible. The part about the Rama, Sita, and Lank just sitting around humiliating Shurpa reminded me a little of the movie Mean Girls. Except the roles were reversed with the she demon feeling intense emotions of embarrassment. It was interesting to read how you made Sita seem so resistant to express her true emotions to Shurpa, and how she was extremely dependent upon Rama. It would be cool to see how it would change your story if Sita was outspoken and she protected Rama from Shurpa instead of the other way around. I personally really appreciated your retelling of this story and look forward to reading more.
Hi Callie! Okay so first off your dogs are adorable. Also I love the Wichita mountains, they're our own mini Rockies here in Oklahoma. The geography and wildlife is so different in that area, it's one of my favorite places.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I liked your story! I'm not gonna lie, I actually ended up feeling bad for Shurpa. I know she was a man-eating demon and all, but she got cucked pretty hard and everyone just laughed at her. I think if you wanted to make her more hateable, you should go into detail about her wicked intentions. Her evilness was sort of glossed over, which makes sense because we all read the story, but I think it would be more impactful when she gets rejected if you like described how she planned to kill Sita after seducing Rama, otherwise Rama's mocking seems really cruel and sadistic which is out of character for him. That's the only improvement I can really think of, overall your story was really good!
ReplyDeleteI like your version of Shurpanakha and Rama. Your details in the story were so vivid. Also I think you set up the story quite nicely. You started out vivd details of Rama's beauty. Then you talked about Shurpa's beauty and her little scheme for Rama. The fact that she "hissed" when she got rejected was perfect! It makes you see her demon side under all that beauty. I think that adding in the part where Shurpa is actually ugly, but has the ability to take another form would be crucial for this story. You could use it as an explanation as to why Shurpa has a goal to seduce all men. It would also explain the fact that she can not handle rejection.
Your classmate,
Joanna
Hi Callie, I just finished up reading your story on your portfolio, The She Demon and the Prince. My first story was also about the crazy jealous demon and her pursuit in trying to take Rama away from Sita. I really enjoyed the use of adjectives you used when retelling the original story! That is something I have been trying to work on and incorporate into my my own work. I wonder what your stories would turn out like if you were to try and change it? I was really fun and challenging giving the story a twist. What if you added more dialogue with Sita or Lan? Not totally making up the story but expanding your imagination on what went on during the story.
ReplyDeleteHi Callie!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story. You had such vivid details that really helped me picture the story in my head as I was reading it! It agree that Rama was basically a dick because he was so easily persuaded by his people that he didn't trust his wife. His wife was always nothing, but faithful to him so it was very unfortunate that even after learning that he was wrong to not trust his wife, he went and made the same mistake again. I really enjoyed both of your stories and I look forward to reading more!
I thought your story was excellent. I enjoyed it very much. I thought it was interesting that you chose to create a story about Sita and Rama; about how she returned home. Even though she had not done anything, Rama was still skeptical about her pureness. In some ways, it made me dislike that part of the story because we knew that nothing had happened, but Rama was not fair to Sita in his judgment. I was happy to see that you changed that narrative and made Rama realize that he was entirely in the wrong for judging Sita the way he did. I wonder what it would have been like if Rama would have turned away from his paranoia and listened to the gods instead of the people. Even though Sita was spared in the end by the gods, it was unfortunate that Rama was not punished for any of his wrongdoings. I wonder what life was like for Rama after Sita went up to heaven.
ReplyDeleteHowdy Callie,
ReplyDeleteI thought your story, "An Unfaithful Sita," was really great. I loved how much detail and thought went into it. I feel like the PDE version I read was sort of rushed and did not allow me to process the entirety of the stories at hand. Your story made me think twice and gave me the opportunity to understand the story a little better. I also liked how short and to the point your story was. I also appreciate the fact that your Rama character realized he had made a huge mistake. Just a thought, have you ever thought about including how long Rama had to live with his mistake of allowing Sita to willing give up her life? I saw in your author's note that you clearly had a dislike for Rama in the original version, so that leads me to the question did you ever think about changing the story completely by making Rama believe Sita no matter what the people of his kingdom said? Overall, your story was super great.
Hey Callie!
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story "An Unfaithful Sita." I agree with you that Rama treated Sita really unfairly and he should have trusted her. I enjoyed reading your version of the story because I felt like it gave me a better understanding of what happened in the original story. This story was also interesting to read and I felt like you used a good amount of detail to convey it. I think by changing the plot a little bit the reader would be able to see your creativity even more. I also really liked your second story. I thought the way you described the characters and introduced the story really painted a picture for me. I like the changes you made in making Shurpa's reaction crazy. This made the plot more interesting that the original. I felt like your story showed how great Rama's love for Sita when compared to the Ramayana. Overall I really enjoyed this. I wonder what Sita was thinking when her husband was being tempted. Maybe adding in a few of these extra details would make your story even better! I look forward to reading more of your portfolio.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHey Callie! I loved your story "An Unfaithful Sita". Majority of my short stories and interest in the epics has been on Sita and her journey with Rama and others and she progresses as a character so I appreciate how you incorporated her into this story. Also, your descriptive detail was great. I think the more the reader can picture what is going on and place themselves in the story, the more involved they are in the story which I think is always good. I based by storybook on a version of Sita I want to see evolve into a stronger woman, and am excited to see where your stories go s well as I am very intrigued. Overall, I think you did a great job!
ReplyDeleteWWW Comment:
ReplyDeleteHi Callie,
I love how your story was about Sita after she comes back from the wilderness with Rama. This was a really controversial part of the Ramayana as Rama was seen as a pious character, but he banishes his wife when people believe that she was unfaithful. Rama even lets Sita commit suicide at one point in the story because he wanted to prove to people that Sita had been faithful. In your story, I really liked the amount of dialogue that you had as it made the story really engaging. I liked how showed the character of Rama as being unremorseful in his behavior towards Sita as it made the transition to him banishing her much more believable. If I had to critique the story, I would say to maybe add some more detail in your story as it could make it even more engaging. I liked your story overall and am looking forward to reading more of your work.
Hello Callie! I just wanted to say, I really enjoyed reading your stories too! I liked how you included a lot of details and imagery in your story. It gave me a better visualization and understanding to your stories. Honestly, the story of Rama and Shurpanakha is one of my favorite stories of Rama! It’s funny how you made Shurpa a beautiful demon at first when I usually think the opposite of demons. Also, I liked when Shurpanakha appeared in front of Rama when Sita was right behind him. It surprised me that this demon had the audacity to appear in front of his wife. The dialogue you added, it made the story even better because I could understand their thoughts better! When Rama was talking about Sita, it sounded like a crazy romantic love story. Your story was very well written! I am excited for more stories you’ll be writing.
ReplyDeleteHi Callie! I absolutely loved reading your version of the story. I really liked how you changed the story by making Rama seem regretful of his action to banish Sita. When I first read the original story, I thought that Rama exiling Sita was a ridiculous decision.
ReplyDeleteA question that I have is why are the people talking about Sita’s faithfulness again even after having her faithfulness to Rama be proven by the gods? What was it that convinced Rama that Sita was cheating on him? I thought that by having the gods intervene, it would’ve been enough to prove her innocence.
I don’t think I have a suggestion for your story. However, I think that you could add a little bit of dialogue from Sita. She is the center of the problem, and by adding her perspective of the incident, it would make the story even more intense and dramatic. With that being said, I thought it was very well-written and organized.
Hi Callie!
ReplyDeleteI really appreciated the breath of fresh air that was your author's note. Rama is kind of the worst. So many times. Anyway, your story was great! I liked your thought process on the parts that you included and chose to exclude from your piece. I think sometimes there are bits and pieces that aren't all that relevant to the overall story and can sometimes make it a little difficult to follow along. I enjoyed how straight forward your story was, it was very refreshing! You did a great job of setting the scene throughout your entire story as well! I appreciate when authors use a great deal of descriptive language in their writing because I think it really does make or break the overall story. I felt like I was right there!! Great job, I hope to read more of your stories in the future. Keep up the great work!
Hi Callie,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your portfolio. I would have liked to see some dialogue from Sita. In both stories she is important to plot lines, yet she isn't given any active roles. I think that 'Infidelidous' should be 'infidelitous' but I am not sure if you meant to keep the word in the labels at the top. There are a few other typos: e.g. 'Contantly' in the eighth paragraph and 'more sad' should be the comparative form --> sadder. In your second story, there are a few small mistakes also. The set up of your site is easy to navigate and I like the images you chose and your stories are well written. In a few places there are extra spaces between paragraphs, fixing the formatting would just make the page look more clean. I like the term Demoness better than She demon (but that is just a personal preference). I look forward to reading more of your work!
Hello, Callie!
ReplyDeleteI read your story about Rama and Sita upon their return to the kingdom. I thought you wrote very well, and concisely. It has been a while since I read the original story, and perhaps you changed more than I thought while reading it. What I liked most about your story was your style of writing. I bet you did not have much to do for revisions! I guess I was hoping for more of your creativity. I know it would be hard to bring your love of horror to these types of stories, but I am going to keep coming back to check out your stories. Also, I LOVED your author's note. I also thought Rama was a total dick, and it was upsetting that he was able to get away with that kind of behavior! You should have made him a zombie! :)
Hi Callie!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your two stories! I liked your idea of taking stories from the Ramayana and retelling them with some slight twists. I did find the title “An Unfaithful Sita” a little misleading because initially I thought you were going to tell a version of the story in which Sita actually had been unfaithful and that definitely threw me for a loop! I do like how you made Rama feel remorseful for his treatment of Sita, but I think it could be interesting to maybe change up the ending even more. The same goes for “The She Demon and the Prince”. I think this story, which is a lot more interesting when told from the perspective of Shurpa, could be even more compelling if you deviated a little bit from the original ending of the story. What happens if Lan actually does fall for her? Or what happens if instead of running away to her brother, Shurpa decides to get revenge on Lan herself? I think exploring the answers to questions like this could really add to the stories overall! I really like what you have so far, and I can’t wait to see what you do next!
Hi Callie! I read your original version of "An Infidelidous Sita" and was impressed by your adaptation. So, naturally I wanted to see what you changed in the updated version, and I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. You really emphasized Rama's emotions in this one in comparison to the original, so well done. It adds to the satisfaction in a way. I know it kind of diverges from the original story, but have you considered expanding the ending by expanding more on Rama's feelings towards Sita? As in, you could expand that last sentence - maybe his heart aches having realized his mistreatment of Sita, or maybe change the Ramayana by adding that Rama will try to atone for his mistake by holding steadfast fate in his children. Overall, great story!
ReplyDeleteHey Callie, great work on your portfolio and on the site in general! One of the things that I think sets your portfolio apart is the very candid author’s notes. The first one caught me off guard. I was not expecting such an explicit condemnation of one of the characters. It may have caught me off guard, but it was an excellent way to communicate how you viewed the story and what steps you took to transform the work. I think that both the stories are well written and that you did a great job rewriting the stories. My only advice is that I think you should increase the size of the banner image on the homepage so that it takes up more space. I think that this would create a more aesthetic home page and allow the reader to see more of the picture. Overall, I think you did a great job. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteHi Callie!
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting how you contrasted a story in which you intentionally vilified Rama with one in which you painted him as a savior to Sita. I would like to comment on your images, though. The banner image for the home page doesn't do much for this portfolio. I can't tell who the characters are supposed to be. It doesn't really have a recognizable art style, so it doesn't give us any information about what kind of stories we are going to be reading. I do like the Image of Rama and his sons, showing off their similar skin tones, but the label, "Lava and Kusha confront Rama" could easily confuse a reader, as you never mention Lava and Kusha by name in the story. Also, the way you have the text wrapped leaves a large white space that would normally indicate a break in the story, like between two big blocks of action, but instead it comes in the middle of a conversation. I would suggest re-formatting to get rid of that break. The picture of Rama, Sita, and Shurpa also has a big block of white space after it. Hope this helps!
Hey there Callie!
ReplyDeleteIt is my first time coming across your project. It is coming along great! I read The She Demon and the Prince. One thing I'd like to note is that on the page there is no image description under the image. I would suggest maybe adding a caption.
I enjoyed the story very much. You added great detail that made reading your story fun for the reader. The dialog was appreciated. I always like to see dialog in stories. It makes them more dimensional in my opinion. Your re-telling were fun to read. When going through them it was obvious which story you were retelling which was nice.
I look forward to seeing more of your work! Great job!
Hey Callie!
ReplyDeleteI just read Krishna the Special. What a cool and powerful baby! I think you did an excellent job synthesizing all these attempts on the boys life into a more compact and easily readable story! I do wish that there had been a little more exposition provided, as it may be confusing to readers unfamiliar with your source story as to how this baby ended up in hiding. I really liked the way you had the narrator mock King Kansa for continually trying to end this child's life, clearly to no avail. One thing I noticed you said in your Author's note is that you didn't want to make the demons seem too intimidating since Krishna was able to defeat them so easily. May I offer a counter opinion that bolstering these creatures as all powerful and ruthless implements of evil only to have them defeated by a cute little giggling baby may reinforce Krishna's power and add more of the comedic flare you were talking about? I really liked that at the end of the story you had Krishna as old enough to develop a moral compass and start instilling his values even in souls as dark as this serpent's. It really helps highlight Krishna as a powerful beacon of hope. Great story, thanks for sharing!
Hi Callie, I enjoyed reading through your story, An Unfaithful Sita. I especially enjoyed the risks you take in regards to your word choice. When reading through the story I felt that you were a little blunt at times especially reading through your author's note. Don't get me wrong, I think it is great. I just was not expecting it. I think the way you write gets right to the point and I like that. Some people, and I am guilty of this myself too, like to hover around ideas and get away from telling the actual story. You on the other hand tell the story exactly how it is. For week 13, we are supposed to comment on paragraph and formatting. With that being said, I believe your paragraph formatting is perfectly fine. My only complaint I have with the formatting is the giant space you have between two of your paragraphs. Google sites does not make it easy to incorporate pictures very well. I have gotten frustrated myself trying to make my website look a certain way but the stupid text boxes wont allow me too. It's annoying. I would just try to fix that giant space. Other than that I think you have a great story and portfolio going on!
ReplyDeleteHey Callie,
ReplyDeleteThis week we are focusing on paragraph structure so I paid extra attention to that when reading your work. I read the three stories on your page. I really enjoyed the stories. The amount of dialog you included into the stories was good. This kinda segways into paragraphs. I noticed that after a dialog from a character you'd move to another line/start a new paragraph. That is a nice way to break up your paragraphs. I think your style of story telling is traditional and I enjoyed that a lot. One thing I noticed is that there is a large gap in "An unfailthful Sita." Was that intentional? It looks a little odd to me personally.
Overall, I love your storytelling style and the images you used. You have a great project so far.
Hello Callie,
ReplyDeleteLet me just start by saying that I really liked the style of your website. I like the abundance of images that you put in each of the stories. You don't just have one as a banner image, then that is it. You include them with your text. Off the top of my head, I would recommend you put the link to your comment wall as a footer so that it is accessible from every page. Your stories seem to stay very close to the originals. Is like reading a re-telling of the stories from your point of view. And by the way, I completely share the same views on Rama that you mentioned on the author's notes in "An Unfaithful Sita." I really enjoyed the story "Krishna the Special" I am not very familiar with the Krishna stories, as I opted to read Jakarta tales, but this has me very intrigued now!
Hey Callie,
ReplyDeleteJust hopping in from the Myth Folklore class to say hello and read your portfolio. I really feel like overall your portfolio came together absolutely phenomenally. Your layout really popped out to me. First, I really liked your banner image, but while reading the stories your pictures that you used in the stories really popped out to me. Before reading each story I would look at all of the photos and it would get me ready for the tone you used throughout. It really helps as a storyteller to allow the reader to get some imagery along with some great images. I also liked how you portrayed your characters. I really felt that I got to know them and had insight onto who they were and their motives. I'm typically really good at that in movies, but not usually in stories so great job. I enjoy your writing style more than anything and the way that you don't dance around the subject with overused adjectives or metaphors. Overall, I feel it came together great overall. I hope you have a great rest of the semester and enjoy the upcoming summer!